So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
