You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
