You really coming over, don't trick.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
