too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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