Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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