either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
