I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
