I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
