I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize