is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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