they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
