Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
