so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
