I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I cut my penus on the lid.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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