I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
