Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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