I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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