Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
