I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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