Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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