you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
