8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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