When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize