I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
