Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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