Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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