wakey wakey hands off snakey
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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