I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
