theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize