You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
