You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
