We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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