if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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