this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
