You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think i have two assholes
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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