do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
