I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
