final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
