pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize