Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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