I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
