I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
