If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize