I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
