did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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