If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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