do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
