i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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