why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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