We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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