her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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