You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
