at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
