why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
