My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
