do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
