explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
