You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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