I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Vodka?
Forever.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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