We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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